It’s Better Not to Spoil than to Put on the Hashtag of Spoiler Alert

A probably rainy morning in June, twelve years ago; I had successfully stayed away from watching television for two days and kept the newspaper at a distance. Achan confirmed my worst fears as I was about to leave for school. Malayala Manorama had pulled a Malayala Manorama. They had, for real, gone ahead and revealed who dies in the Order of the Phoenix. The fifth novel was being published after a gap of 3 years and there was no way any of us Potterheads could mortally survive a spoiler. And Manorama was out to ensure that all of us died, painfully. Thankfully Achan had the discretion to not pull a Manorama on me and kept mum.

I hurried to school to warn others to stay away from the paper. As I was sounding the warning bells to Soumya, who had coaxed me into reading Potter, one enthusiastic morning paper reader (I’m not naming her but you know who you are) appeared out of nowhere and told us who dies. We died. Inside. Later, in mourning, we took down a few others with us. I think one of us went on to tell our English teacher who then swore that she’ll flunk us. She did not, thankfully.

These harrowing memories came rushing back in light of the recent Jon Snowfall on social media. I’m glad social media was not widely used when the first five Potters came out. I am not really fond of the rest of the series. Even then, one had to hound the fan forums to dig up spoilers unless you were subscribing to Malayala Manorama, of course. I’m glad we switched to Desabhimani for a while although all they ever report is where the Party is tonight.

It’s not like I haven’t spilled the beans on people. I recently got carried away discussing Death Note and forgot that there was a newbie in the room and majorly ruined it for her. This had nothing to do with the fact that she, having read the books, slightly spoiler-ed GoT for me during what was probably our first conversation.

Slips do happen when it comes to conversation. But when it comes to posting on social media what you think are thinly veiled spoilers, which are often as obvious and as tasteless as SRK’s DIY Kiran tattoo in Darr, it is better to remember the wise and politically correct words of Ronan Keating. You say it best when you say nothing at all.